Motherhood and guilt don’t have to go hand in hand. But sometimes they do anyway. When your child’s behavior throws you for a loop, what’s your “default?” If it’s either yelling/threatening or giving in, you’re in good company. Here’s where the guilt comes in. If your “default” means you are behaving in ways that you later regret (or just plain don’t work in the long run), the guilt you feel can be just as bad as your child’s behavior! The reason it’s so important to know this is that disciplining positively …

It can be so overwhelming to be a mom. And not just any mom, but a mom of a strong-willed child, to boot.  Here’s what comes to mind. Setting limits. Enforcing them. Remaining consistent (remaining? How about starting?). Being aware of temperamental traits so you can set your child up for as much success as possible. Managing temper tantrums and power struggles (your own and your child’s!). That’s not a complete list, but it’s enough! How do you know you’re on the right track in your parenting when there’s so much …

There is a secret to preventing tantrums and power struggles that is right under your nose. You see and hear evidence of it every day. Sometimes, the expression of it might cause you to want to scream. Know what it is yet?
Temperament. Every child comes into the world with a certain set of traits. Knowing your child’s natural, inborn style of behavior–how they come biologically “wired”–can help you know what limits to set and how to set them, before there is a problem. In the ’50s, researchers Stella and Chess followed people …

  “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!” This was what my client said when I told her she needed to start making herself a priority, or she was going to have a melt-down not unlike her child’s. “But I’m coming to you because my life is crazy. You know how strong-willed children can be, with tantrum after tantrum. There’s no time for me at the end of the day. Self-care. As if.”
   Ahhhh. What the heck is “self-care,” anyway? A made-up term by coaches and therapists to guilt people (read …