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Archive for September, 2009

Self-Care Doesn’t Have To Be Rocket Science-Let’s Not Make It Harder Than It Is

Posted by: Karen | Comments (3)
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

picresized_1253089610_newrocket2Straight off, let me apologize to any mompreneurs out there who are rocket scientists (and you know who you are). I don’t have anything against rockets or scientists.  Rather, I just want to say, “Hey, Moms! I know we’re busy, so making ourselves a priority can feel weird. Or just plain guilt-producing. But let’s not make this harder than it has to be, okay?” And for the record, I’m wagging my finger at myself here, too.

Maybe it’s the term “self care.” It sounds kind of clinical and “coach-y.” Like it’s one more thing we have to add to our to-do list. “I have to do the laundry, make the bed, walk the dog, clean the toilet,  AND do self-care.”  What if we called it what it is: “Something I do because, if I don’t, I fall apart and can’t do anything for anyone, which means my life falls apart.” Too long and dramatic? Probably. But at least it cuts to the chase and bottom-lines it. We cannot be effective moms, be  loving wives,  be great business women, be  great friends, be  great anything if we’re on empty. Period.  How effective are we if we are stressed, overwhelmed and near tears? If we think we feel guilty taking time for ourselves to refuel because it takes time away from our family and business, we need to think again. When we don’t take time to re-energize, we can be at our worst. For me, this means snapping at family members (“Am I the only person in this house who knows how to do the laundry? Towels just don’t wash themselves, you know!”), feeling so overwhelmed with my to-do list that it grows even longer because my overwhelm has morphed into inaction, and feeling guilty for my behavior (and just plain “stuck in the yuck”).

Feeling guilty isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, it points us to our “True North.” It can be our conscience nudging us that we’re out of alignment with our integrity and what we value. If we feel guilty for taking time to refuel (and let’s face it–being a mom and a business owner require a ton of fuel/energy), we can notice the feeling and then question it. We can ask ourselves, “What good will come out of taking care of myself? What will happen if I don’t and I run myself into the ground? Is that what I want? What’s one small thing I can do that would help me refuel?” My point is that our guilt about taking care of ourselves needs to be questioned and rechanneled. If we DON’T take care of ourselves, we are more likely to be impatient with our kids and clients, get frustrated and overwhelmed and take those feelings out on others, and be wildly unproductive in all areas of our lives. How effective are we at that point?

I recently posted some tips on Twitter about how mompreneurs can take care of themselves in ways that only take a few minutes. Some of the ideas I mentioned were listening to favorite music on i-Pods, drinking tea slowly and savoring it, walking the dog, etc. Sure, spa days, vacations and massages are amazing. So are the little things that we do that help us reconnect to our passions, our joys, our sense of self. If we are intentional about doing several little things througout the day that boost our energy, the payoff will be big. Last week was so busy that taking care of myself meant deep-breathing throughout the day, drinking lots of water, listening to music, and petting the cat. Not exactly exciting stuff, but it refueled me and kept me on the path to reaching my goals. 

Will you join me in simplifying self-care? If that term inspires you, great. If it doesn’t, find one that does. What can you do to refuel that only takes a few minutes? Start small if you struggle with this. If you make taking care of yourself harder than it needs to be so that it doesn’t happen, what happens in your life and in your business? How do you show up in your life when you’re on empty and stressed beyond belief? Do you like the choices you make when you feel like that? Let’s support one another to avoid the toxic guilt that whispers, “You’re already busy enough–don’t take time away from your family or business by taking time for yourself. Keep going.” Instead, let’s question that guilt and take time for ourselves SO THAT we can be of service to our families and our businesses.

You know that saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” Well, it’s true. I’d also add, “If mama don’t take care of herself, there ain’t no ‘self’ to take care of anybody or anything else.’” How we take care of ourselves, as well as how often, are up for negotiation. But let’s decide that whether or not we will take care of ourselves is non-negotiable.

Categories : Self-Care
Comments (3)

Mompreneurs: The High Cost of Making Excuses

Posted by: Karen | Comments (4)
Friday, September 11th, 2009

picresized_1252741657_paymentpicAs mom entrepreneurs, we are beyond busy. One minute we are on the phone, making dinner, and helping our kids–simultaneously. The very next, we are onto other projects (crises?) vying for our attention. So the word “busy” doesn’t even begin to come close to describing our lives. Being busy can be a good thing (depending on what we’re doing), or it can be a crutch that keeps us from achieving our most important goals.

As business women, we know that there are activities that are high-payoff because they will help our business grow AND make us money (and I’ve had to admit that playing “Jigzone” on the computer isn’t one of them!).  The same is true for our personal lives. We can respond to what is urgently slapping us in the face, but it doesn’t mean that doing so is the best use of our time. If we look at the areas of our personal/family lives that cause us stress, and can see that, over time, we are responding the same way, to the same situations, it’s time to make a change and do something different.

However, being “busy” can be a crutch at times, because it can become an excuse for not dealing head-on with something that really needs our attention: something that, if we addressed it, would lead to happier, better-behaved kids or more clients in our business. Pick an area of your life where you struggle. For me it’s dinner. My husband’s a vegetarian and I’m trying to lose weight. On top of that, I have picky kids AND a crazy schedule. If night after night I find myself in the same situation, feeling guilty and frustrated and maybe even resentful that this dinner thing is such a problem and there is rarely a nutritious dinner on the table,  I have a choice. I can blame my busy schedule for why this situation is happening, and then make an excuse for not making a change. Or, I can recognize that it is because I am busy that I choose to take responsibility and change the situation.

An easy way to tell if you’re making excuses and using your “busyness” and “business” as reasons why you don’t have the time to address what’s not working in your life is this litmus test. Do you make the time to take care of yourself on a daily basis? I’m not talking running off to the spa everyday. I mean do you take time to clear your head, do something for a few minutes that energizes and nourishes you? Or are you parenting on empty and running your business that way too? 

 There is a direct relationship between how willing you are to take care of yourself on a regular basis and how willing you are to take responsibility for your life. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we just have more mental and physical energy to deal with what’s not working when we are taking care of ourselves. Or perhaps it’s that the act of taking care of ourselves is the first step in our showing up fully in our own lives (and admitting where we need help). When we’re running on fumes because of a crazy schedule, there’s little willingness to deal with challenges because we’re simply in “I just need to get through this” mode.

The guilt-free approach to this mompreneur dilemma is to ask yourself, “In what areas am I taking responsibility in my life?” Acknowledge what you ARE doing that’s helping you. Then ask yourself, “What’s one area of my life where I can make one small change for the better?” Remember that when you are really stressed and overwhelmed, the smallest changes can have the largest impact. Don’t let your guilt about not changing become yet another excuse. Notice it, and move on! Don’t let excuses keep you stuck in the status quo unless you’re happy there. The cost to you and your family is high: more stress and chaos, and less peace. The cost to your business is twofold: less energy to put into your business, and a lot less profit.

Bottom Line? It doesn’t have to be this way. You can “unstick” yourself from the web of excuses by a)acknowledging that you have them and b)not buying into them. Like a friendship that was once mutually beneficial and no longer is, you can part ways with your excuses.

Oh, they’ll still try to visit, from time to time. But all you have to do is smile, wave goodbye, and move on.

Categories : Try On A New Thought
Comments (4)

Announcing the One and Only BizMom’s “Secrets Revealed” Retreat

Posted by: Karen | Comments (0)
Monday, September 7th, 2009

secretsretreatBizMom’s “Secrets Revealed” Retreat

November 7-8, 2009, Salt Lake City, Utah

As a Millionaire Mindset BizMom have you ever…
…hidden in a closet so your kids can’t find you while you made a business call?
…raced through a fast food joint to feed the family in time to meet a deadline?
….spent hours strip searching your desk for that important piece of paper?
….been drowning in email “Quick Sand”?
….had a child in “melt down” while you were on the phone?
…felt like you were running way-past “empty” just trying to get it all done?

Chances are you have attended educational conferences and hired expensive coaches to help you grow your business, but have you ever had an opportunity to invest in blending your family life with your business? That’s what the “Secrets Revealed” Retreat is all about.

In just two days you’ll see, feel and learn first-hand the secrets that will take the STRUGGLING out of the JUGGLING of running a business and a busy family simultaneously.

Here are just a few of the take-aways from organizing expert Debbye Cannon and parenting expert Karen Bierdeman:

* Your personalized, automatic meal system to save you 10+ hours a week and still have “good’ meals. (Turning this time into income = $500+ more per week!)

* Proven strategies for succeeding with that “head strong” child. (Priceless!)

* Long lasting office organizing systems that support your unique business for higher productivity. (Estimated savings of 5 hours per week to use for sleep or personal fitness-we know that’s what you give up first!)

* Communication secrets that create a peaceful environment in your home and office.

* Speed shopping SMARTcutsTM so you have what you need, when you need it. (Save 2 hours per week. Work 1 hour and get a massage with the other!)

* Creating cooperative support teams that share the load at home and in the office so you are doing less work. (You didn’t even know that was possible did you?)

This is the first (and maybe once in a lifetime) chance to see behind the curtain and immerse yourself in a high functioning, flexibily organized home and home office AND get personalized parent coaching all in one FUN weekend. Not only that, but we’ve even set up a kids’ “Day Camp” in case you need (or want) to make it a “mom and me adventure”!

Your final question…what’s it cost? Sign up now for just $1497. We’ve even included local transportation, meals and supplies. Optional: airfare, hotel (we’ve got a sweet deal for you) and Day Camp. Three pay option available ($525 ea).

You knew it was coming…here’s your “call to action” because there are only EIGHT tiny little spots for this incredible life changing retreat. So reserve TODAY before it’s too late, we ONLY have room for 8!

Contact me now to reserve your spot!
Debbye(at)BizMomMentor.com Subject Line: Retreat

Categories : Invite Yourself To A New Vision
Comments (0)

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