I’ve been interested in talking about those “pink elephants in the living room” (you know, the stuff that people don’t want to talk about but you KNOW is there) since I was a kid. It’s no surprise then that one of my favorite childhood stories was The Emperor’s New Clothes. It thrilled me when, in that story, one brave little child had the audacity to shout out, “The Emperor is naked!” And the truth is, children are truth-tellers from birth, until it is socialized out of them. When I taught school, I remember first graders looking at me lovingly and proclaiming, “Mrs. B., your hair looks greasy today. Did you wake up late? I love you!” No malice meant. The child was just saying what was real for her in that moment.
Of course, discretion is a good thing, and another skill that children (and some adults) need to learn. Still, I am in awe of those people in our culture that tell the truth as they see it, often going against the grain. As someone who cares what others think, often too much, I aspire to be more of a “truth-teller” and to be real.
Being “real” nowadays can mean not just having your ego show up (and try only to present your best light), but letting others see your weaknesses as well as your strengths. It can also mean having really bad boundaries, as in the case of some reality TV shows (Do we really need to know all about Jon and Kate?). What I’m talking about is NOT about sharing gory details that are basically “TMI” (“Too Much Information). There has to be a context, or a reason for sharing.
So where I’m going with this is that I am on a mission to be more real about my mompreneur journey. And…I am also on a mission to help other mompreneurs ditch the guilt about telling the truth about their struggles. Take a look at a beautiful mompreneur website, and take in the stunning graphics, the headshot that showcases a beautifully made-up person. It’s easy to take the next step and 1)compare ourselves to that person, 2)come up short, and 3)tell ourselves a story about how that person is wildly successful and probably NEVER yells at her kids or rushes through a bedtime story so she can have a moment to herself (or work on her business!). Enter toxic guilt, the kind that whispers critical secrets in your ear such as, “See? YOU don’t have this mompreneur thing down like SHE does.”
I know that, for me, it can feel risky and downright scary to admit to people on my blog that I have struggles. What if they find out that I have piles of crap on my desk and I haven’t made the time to volunteer in my kids’ classes because I feel pulled in a million of directions? Will these blog readers still think I’m competent and professional enough? I think the key for me is to share enough to be real, so other mompreneurs can relate and know they’re not alone. We don’t share our truths just so we can “purge” ourselves of guilt . No, we do it because being real about the good, the bad, and the ugly frees up our much-needed energy to do what we’re here on earth to do, and it gives others permission to be real, too. Successful mompreneurs (however you define “successful”) aren’t that way because they “have it all together” all of the time. They’re successful because:
- They are real with themselves where they struggle (and where they rock)
- They realize they’re not alone in their struggles
- They are willing to get help from a “Tribe” who understands their challenges and can support them
I’m excited to be embarking on a “Truth Telling” Project in the upcoming weeks. I’ll be interviewing different mompreneurs on how their two worlds (being a parent and being a business mom) often collide. Each will share secrets about areas she’s struggled AND will share what’s helped her succeed. We all deserve to know we’re not alone and that many of us even share some the same struggles!
I say, “Bring on the ‘pink elephants’!” Let’s talk about them, get them out in the open, and free up our energy to do the things that really matter to us (for me that’s raising great kids, a strong marriage and having a successful business). The curious thing is, the more we acknowledge and talk about them, the less hold they have over us.
The truth shall set us free, AND help us band together in being authentically human and perfectly imperfect. I hope you’ll join us in letting your “pink elephants” come and play with ours!
As a mompreneur, how do you see yourself? Do you view yourself primarily as an at-home mom who also works from home? Or, do you see yourself as a mom who works at home because you feel passionate about being there for your kids and equally passionate about running your own business? I ask these questions because, the other day, I heard one woman tell another, “Well, you don’t know what it’s like to be a working mom; you work from home.” This same mom then went on to say, “If I worked from home, I could do everything I want to do. I could scrapbook my son’s baby pictures, keep the house clean, and get more than Taco Bell on the dinner table. Please.” That’s what I say. Please. This woman’s comments really got me thinking about how I see myself, and how other mompreneurs might see themselves.
I must confess. There are times that working from home and seeing the housework that awaits really bums me out. There’s nothing that can set me off more than waking up to the same ol’ dog hair, dirty dishes, and piled laundry. Plus, while I want our home to be a comfy refuge, I often don’t want want to do what it takes to make it one. And then there’s the fact that I feel pulled in a million directions with my family and my business. But that’s another post.