1. When your child is asleep, at school, or just not with you, think about one thing you love about him or her. Imagine it fully. For me, it’s my daughter’s sweet laughter. I can easily imagine her laughing at something, her head thrown back in a healthy expression of joy or humor. Doing this helps you reconnect with the positive aspects of your child.
2. Picture your child using his or her temperamental traits for good. Is she bossy? Picture her effectively leading a major corporation someday (Sound silly? So is picturing your child on the street or in jail because she refused to do what you said!). Is he bouncing off the walls with energy? Imagine him as a mover and shaker of the world, getting things done.
3. Spend five minutes each day just being with your child;during this time, don’t ask any questions or give any directions. Simply notice. Watch her color a picture. Notice as he eats his dinner. This helps to reconnect the both of you. By observing your child and watching from a detached perspective, you can often see him in a new light. I often tell the moms I coach to pretend that their child was plunked down on their doorstep from another planet, and that their job is to curiously observe who this child is.
4. Take mini-breaks throughout the day to replenish your lost energy. Drink water. Call or e-mail a friend. Pet the cat. Breathe (I find myself holding my breath in times of stress). You’ll enjoy your child more when you are feeling on an even keel with yourself.
5. Picture yourself calmly responding to your child, even (especially) when your buttons are pushed. Believe it or not, envisioning yourself successfully doing something greatly improves the odds that you’ll successfully accomplish it.
The bottom line? Life with a strong-willed child can be stressful. And yet, there are little steps you can take to enjoy your child more. What works for you?
