Comments on: But WHY Does This Guilt Make My Butt Look Fat?

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 25 May 2010 20:34:23 +0000

Hi, Sherri–
So glad you found my blog. You have a lot on your plate with a husband that works weekdays out of town, AND having an 8 yr old with ADHD and a very young daughter. No wonder you feel like there’s not enough of you to go around!

Giving yourself a break sometimes takes an outside perspective to help you stand back and see all that you are doing that is working. When you’re in the thick of it, though, it’s hard. You’re certainly not alone in that area! Your response to my post helps me to see that I need to blog about some of the things you mentioned because so many moms are going through them. Thanks for stopping by the GFM blog–and know that you’re in good company!

Warmly,
Karen

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:47:02 +0000

Thanks for your kind words, Sarah. Great point about expecting perfection from ourselves, but not others. I think our “inner critic” combined with society’s outer focus of comparisons, has made for a lethal combination for moms. One person I was talking to the other day thought I was saying that the opposite of a guilt-filled mom is a “slacker mom.” I don’t think so. Somewhere in that lovely gray area is a REAL mom with strengths and weaknesses who is strong on the inside because she knows who she is, even amidst a culture that would tell her to compare herself to others.

Anyway, enough of my ranting! So glad you stopped by!
Karen

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:11:05 +0000

You said it perfectly – thanks for writing such a wonderful article. I particularly loved the reminder that there is just a lot of conflicting advice out there. At the end of the day, if you stay focused on what you think is right, you’ll be a lot happier. Food for thought: why is it that we expect perfection from ourselves, but we routinely give others room to be imperfect?

By: Karen

Karen — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:51:10 +0000

Angie–

Ahhhhh…so sad that moms struggle with being so perfect and beating themselves up. The only “perfect” mom is “Robot Mom.” HA! Hugs to your daughter….I checked out your site and it looks like you have some great tools to support your daughter around the guilt. Then again, daughters don’t always listen to mothers (ask me how I know!).

Glad you stopped by!
Karen

By: angie blackwell

angie blackwell — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 04:33:43 +0000

So very well said. I’m a grandma now and this problem has become so apparent as I watch my daughter struggle to be a perfect mother. I’m here to support her but that doesn’t stop her from beating herself up.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 22:13:06 +0000

Melisa–

It’s so draining to have that constant guilt about not doing it right, isn’t it? Parenting is hard enough! Know that you’re not alone, and that it’s possible to get over that constant guilt-companion. So glad you stopped by the GFM blog!

Karen

By: melisa

melisa — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 21:19:34 +0000

Excellent post and so true! I have constant guilt that I am just not doing the mothering thing right. I remember my MIL coming for a visit a mth after my son was born and saying “well, looks like I can rest easy, he looks well taken care of”. I was expected to fail!? I have felt guilty ever since that moment!