I’m a big fan of anything that makes parenting easier (well, almost anything–it has to be within my integrity!). That’s why I’m so excited about Barbara Probst’s book, When The Labels Don’t Fit: A New Approach To Raising A Challenging Child. Blessedly this is NOT just another book on how to discipline your child. Instead, it outlines a postive, more energizing way of looking at your child’s temperament, and a refreshing one at that.
While the idea of temperament has been around for a long time, it hasn’t always been used to identify children’s strengths. In fact, most experts focus on what’s wrong with the child. Not so with this book.
Instead, the author helps parents identify their child’s specific traits and temperament so they can devise a plan to help their child succeed. Rather than just saying to parents, “Your child is strong-willed, so just do X, Y, And Z,” Probst helps parents to tease out the traits inherent in a label such as ”strong willed” and then make changes in their thinking, speaking, and environment that play to their child’s strengths, and help them learn to manage the areas in which they struggle. What is particularly powerful about this book is that it’s approach is not “pollyanna.” The author doesn’t pretend that many children have issues with ADHD, conduct disorder, etc. Instead, she chooses to view the child as a whole human being, and looks at both what comes easily and what doesn’t for him/her. It’s a balanced approach that leaves the parents with concrete tips and suggestions for different traits, and helps parents have more energy and hope to parent well.
I interviewed the author, Barbara Probst, and what really came through in the interview was her intense committment to helping parents look beyond labels so that they could see their child with new eyes. This new way of seeing opens up a large, untapped area of support for parents. Listen to the interview here, and be sure to share your comments!
