Comments on: One More Way To Feel Guilty? http://www.theguiltfreemom.com/one-more-way-to-feel-guilty/ Avoid power struggles and deal with temper tantrums and become a Guilt Free Mom™. Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:55:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Karen http://www.theguiltfreemom.com/one-more-way-to-feel-guilty/comment-page-1/#comment-7 Karen Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:04:48 +0000 http://97.74.11.136/?p=94#comment-7 Suzanne- I love that you know how to be your own cheerleader. I can see how being a single mom would mean that you HAVE to act in your own best interests; no one is going to do it for you. Thanks for pointing out that becoming a "purposeful parent" is a "learned set of behaviors." The question is, can we allow ourselves as moms to learn with grace? Can we minimize the times we rag on ourselves for being in "reation mode," whatever that means to us? If we wouldn't rag on our best friend, we certainly deserve the same respect. Great points you make. Karen Suzanne-
I love that you know how to be your own cheerleader. I can see how being a single mom would mean that you HAVE to act in your own best interests; no one is going to do it for you. Thanks for pointing out that becoming a “purposeful parent” is a “learned set of behaviors.” The question is, can we allow ourselves as moms to learn with grace? Can we minimize the times we rag on ourselves for being in “reation mode,” whatever that means to us? If we wouldn’t rag on our best friend, we certainly deserve the same respect. Great points you make.

Karen

]]> By: Suzanne Bird-Harris | Learning Curve Coaching http://www.theguiltfreemom.com/one-more-way-to-feel-guilty/comment-page-1/#comment-4 Suzanne Bird-Harris | Learning Curve Coaching Thu, 02 Oct 2008 05:52:08 +0000 http://97.74.11.136/?p=94#comment-4 Boy-oh-boy, we DO lump it on, don't we!? (Guilt, I mean.) Your point is well taken...while our own default response may not be any better than our kids' default responses (yeah - they have them, too!), that doesn't mean we need to berate ourselves and lengthen our (probably) already-way-too-long guilt lists. Better to simply acknowledge what's going on, as it's the first step in "catching ourselves" in our own behavior we'd like to change. When I catch myself acting a fool with my kids (and it happens still...dang it), I remind myself that I am on a path of purposeful parenting, and it's a LEARNED set of behaviors on my part. There's no button I can push and instantly become the mother I'd like to be (trust me - I've been a mom for 21 years now - if there was a button, I'd have found it by now!), so while I'm constantly un-learning, re-learning and growing, I try to treat myself as I would my best friend if she were struggling with this. As a single mom, not only am I the loudest voice in my critic choir, I am often my only cheerleader. Boy-oh-boy, we DO lump it on, don’t we!? (Guilt, I mean.) Your point is well taken…while our own default response may not be any better than our kids’ default responses (yeah – they have them, too!), that doesn’t mean we need to berate ourselves and lengthen our (probably) already-way-too-long guilt lists.

Better to simply acknowledge what’s going on, as it’s the first step in “catching ourselves” in our own behavior we’d like to change.

When I catch myself acting a fool with my kids (and it happens still…dang it), I remind myself that I am on a path of purposeful parenting, and it’s a LEARNED set of behaviors on my part. There’s no button I can push and instantly become the mother I’d like to be (trust me – I’ve been a mom for 21 years now – if there was a button, I’d have found it by now!), so while I’m constantly un-learning, re-learning and growing, I try to treat myself as I would my best friend if she were struggling with this.

As a single mom, not only am I the loudest voice in my critic choir, I am often my only cheerleader.

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