What I’m really advocating is not giving extra energy to misbehavior. If your three year old is melting down over a toy, the kind of time out I am talking about would be 1) stepping in and stopping any dangerous or aggressive behavior since safety is always first and b) helping your child “reset” or calm down. Since discipline means to teach, there is no teaching going on when either parent or child is upset. So in practical terms, you’d practice this “resetting” at a time when there were no problems. In essence, you’d be pretending with your child (“Okay…I am going to pretend to take your toy and you’re going to pretend to get really mad. Then we’re going to practice resetting yourself”). Then you’d teach them how to take three very slow, deep breaths and to relax their body. It’s key to do this when there isn’t a problem so you can give lots of positive feedback and your child really does know what to do (“Great! I see you taking a very deep breath and really taking your time with it. You’re face is looking calmer…). In the heat of the moment, when your child needs a reset you say, “Oops..broke a rule. Reset.” Then you withdraw your attention and energy. You step in if they’re unsafe. But you don’t lecture, or yell, or keep telling them to reset. In effect, a reset is really YOU, the parent, not giving extra energy to your child’s misbehavior other then stepping in and keeping them safe. It’s also about helping them get calm in control again so their thinking brain can take over. By the way, this also gives you a chance to reset yourself (which I know as a mom I need!). When they are calm, and in control of their bodies and emotions, you can then return your energy to them (“Great job of calming yourself. Now it’s time to put the toy away.”) Any kid worth his salt won’t do reset “perfectly” right away. That’s to be expected, and that’s why you practice and give lots of feed back when all is going well. In a way, it’s still a time out because you’re taking your time and energy out of the equation until they are back in control. But it’s not traditional time out where there is a naughty step or a chair. Again, it’s really about you not accidentally rewarding the misbehavior with your attention (and kids think of lectures and yelling and spanking as attention). A really powerful thing to do is to catch yourself feeling stressed or angry and to say to your kids, I am feeling angry and need to do a reset.” Then do three slow, deep, exaggerated breaths and really get calm. Kids learn more from what we DO than what we say.
Hope this helps!

Do you think a almost 3 year old or a just turned 4 year old have the understanding for such a mind of matter tool?