Has anyone ever criticized your parenting? Or have you ever gotten one of those looks (and the wagging finger) from a little old lady who is horrified that your child isn’t wearing a coat in winter (never mind the power struggle you just went through to convince said child to wear the darn thing because it’s cold out!)? I recently had someone tell me I mustn’t be a good mother because my child’s hair is never brushed. Um, well…the bad (or good, depending on how you look at it) news is that her hair is always brushed, but never looks  brushed. I’d be lying if I said that woman’s comment didn’t bother me.  I have thought about quick-witted comebacks to her, and others like her, that feel it is their duty to share their opinions in such a judgmental way (and yes–most of these I thought of at midnight, when I couldn’t sleep because I was so angry!). Here are a few of my “fantasy responses” that I’d LOVE to really share but never would:

1. “We don’t believe in brushing hair in our family; it’s against our   religion.”

2.  “Thank you for sharing. Please don’t do it again.”

3. “Wow. I am so glad you shared that with me. Now I can sleep tonight knowing you have set me straight.”

4. “Wow. That means a lot coming from you” (said in a monotone).

5. “I know! I AM a horrible mother! Is there any hope for me at all?”

6. “I guess only one of us can win “Mother of the Year” award, and since you’ve already won it, I should just give up.”

7. “Are you always this rude? Does it come naturally or do you have to work at it?”

Mind you, I wouldn’t say these things. No, no. I’d just want to. A lot of times what I really DO say when my daughter is tantrumming in public and someone says, “Ewww…what a brat” is, “Hmmmmmm…..” That’s it. It buys me time and helps me relax a bit. Sometimes I feel defensive and let a snarky, “Thanks for sharing” slip. But most of the time I don’t. What’s the worst thing someone has said to you about YOUR parenting? What do you wish you would’ve said?