My friend, Jaime Woolf, wrote a poweful book called, Mom In Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos. She helps women take leadership skills from other areas of their lives and use them to parent more easily and effectively. For Mother’s Day, she sent out this message to the women on her subscriber list. It resonated with me so much I asked for her permission to share it, and she agreed! By the way, I love that she says, “Living in a perpetual state of imbalance is a given.” I try to abstain from using the word “balance” and instead use words like “rhythm.” Her perspective is both practical and helpful for those of us who struggle with mom guilt. Enjoy!
***************************************************************************************************************
I write in Mom-in-Chief, “To have the best connection with our children and the most positive influence on them, we need to deepen our connection with ourselves.” When we buzz through our days barely stopping to breathe, we’re too wrung out to enjoy anything let alone our families. It takes a conscious effort to build time for nurturing yourself and reconnecting with your best self.
Living in a perpetual state of imbalance is a given. This Mother’s Day, take a couple of guilt-free hours to do something indulgent, something that gives you energy, something without the kids! The point of doing this is to help you come to a connect-the-dots moment when you reawaken the joy you feel for your work, life, and family.
But it’s not only on Mother’s Day that you want to take time for yourself. The best leaders– Presidents, CEOs, parents–are disciplined about finding the time to rejuvenate. Here are some questions to ponder in honor of Mother’s Day:
1. On what activities do I want to spend less time? (Hint: think of those activities that make you feel lethargic just to think about them–multiple rounds of CandyLand, making lunches).
2. Think about how to off-load undesired tasks. For example, can your kids make their own lunches? Do you really need to go to every soccer game?
3. On what activities do you want to spend more time? Hiking in the hills, curling up with a novel, going to a concert?
4. What will you do to expand the time you devote to this area? Bypass the excuses, get creative, and take action.
To perform your best and inspire the best in others, you need to step back from the pressure and nurture yourself. This is what the best leaders do and this is what we need to do to feel effective and experience the rewards of parenting.
Good luck and Happy Mother’s Day!
********************************************************************************************************************************************
To reach Jamie Woolf, you find her at www.mominchief.com, and www.theparentleader.com. Her book is available on her site, as well as at www.amazon.com.
Hey, Moms—
Know anyone who doesn’t want a happy family? Books and other resources abound about how to have one. There is a lot of misinformation out there that encourages parents to feel guilty about NOT having the perfect, happy, healthy family. Who on earth can do all the books and websites describe? Is it even necessary? Here are some of the myths about having a happy family that I think do parents a huge disservice by keeping them mired in guilt: