This is second part of a two-part post by guest blogger Beth Shepard. To read Part 1, go here.

7.    Get out with your girlfriends. Regularly- and when you’re ready. When my kids were babies and toddlers, I worked full-time outside of the home, and had a hard time leaving them for any amount of time during my off-time. So, I didn’t. People kept pestering me to get out more, and I got tired of hearing it. As my kids got older, I felt better about leaving them for short periods of time to go out with a friend. Now that they’re 9 and 11, I go out with girlfriends 1-2x a month. And I really enjoy it! It’s refreshing and energizing to just relax and be me again, instead of always wearing my mommy radar.

8.    Spend time with your husband or partner. During those early years of parenthood, my husband and I didn’t have much adults-only time. But the times we did were vitally important to staying close and connected. Now, even if it’s just a few minutes of chitchat after work or after the kids go to bed, we make a point of connecting each day. Date-nights are still rather infrequent, but we make an effort to schedule them 1x/month to continue strengthening our marriage beyond our identity as parents.

9.    Play with your kids. It’s easy to get caught in the trap of barking out orders at children: “Clean your room, do your homework, practice piano, set the table, take a bath”…etc., and overlook the treasures and priceless gifts that they truly are. When I take the time to sit with my son and read to him, or do crafts with my daughter, or play badminton with both of them, I feel a sense of fulfillment and life satisfaction that I rarely get from anything else. The privilege of being their mom, watching them grow, guiding them through life’s twists and turns, and just enjoying the wonderful people they are brings me unspeakable joy. And it’s hard to be stressed out when children are belly-laughing!

10.   Get enough sleep. Hah – that’s something many moms only dream of. I didn’t sleep through the night until my kids were 5 and 7. I never napped when they napped -I had things to do. But research has confirmed the serious health benefits of sleep. Getting enough, good-quality sleep makes a huge different in terms of weight control, disease management, and even your ability to function during the day. Stress is magnified when you don’t get enough sleep. So, do what you have to do – go to bed early, delegate some tasks, assure yourself that the world won’t collapse if you get a few more winks – just get them.

11.                       Practice your faith. Whatever or whomever you believe in, believe wholeheartedly, and practice the teachings, rituals, and fellowship, integrating it into your daily life. Feeding your soul is every bit as important as feeding your body. If you have some room to grow in this area, seek out the advice of members of your faith community, religious or lay leaders.

12.                       Speak kindly to yourself. Moms are notoriously hard on themselves for what they aren’t doing, or what they do wrong. Give yourself a break, and speak to yourself with the same kindness and grace that you’d give a close friend. Focus on the positive, be encouraging, and see yourself for the amazing woman you are.

Beth Shepard, M.S., is a wellness coach, clinical exercise physiologist, and health promotion consultant in the Seattle area. She helps busy women all over the U.S.  achieve a better balance between work and life and adopt sustainable behavior changes for optimal well-being. www.wellcoaches.com/beth.shepard

By Guest Blogger: Beth Shepard, M.S. (Part 1)

Most moms do a pretty remarkable job of cutting corners on self-care to meet the demands of work and family responsibilities. But instead of saving time and energy, neglecting our own needs only magnifies the stress. This holiday season, give yourself the gift of better health by integrating these self-care practices into your lifestyle, one at a time.

1. List your values. What matters most to you? Is it your family? Your health? Work? Faith? Think of your top values as your compass, guiding your daily and long-term decisions. When you honor your values, you live a life of integrity. When you don’t, you increase your likelihood of stress overload.

2. Adjust your expectations. If having a super-tidy house isn’t one of your top values, relax already. It’s not a crime to let the laundry pile up while you take time out for yourself or to enjoy time with loved ones. The housework will always be there – but the people won’t.

3. Say “no thank-you.” Practice politely – yet firmly – declining commitments that don’t honor your values. I’m amazed at how well people adapt when I give myself and my priorities the respect we deserve. I currently decline all invitations to join in cookie exchanges. It’s too much pressure, and another to-do I don’t need during the holidays. My friends are OK with that – and they’re still my friends.

4. Move your body. A brief walk refreshes your mind, body, and soul in unbelievable ways. It burns calories, boosts metabolism, enhances your ability to concentrate and learn, and even helps protect against age-related declines in brain function. Sound good?

5. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Stock up on a colorful variety of fresh and frozen produce – berries, stir-fry blends, bananas, clementines, pomegranates, and such. They’re packed with antioxidants, which help protect your body against disease. Aim for at least 5-7 servings a day – it’s easier than it sounds. Throw chopped vegetables in soups, sauces, salads, and entrees. When I make lasagna, I include shredded carrots, spinach, and mushrooms. For more ideas, visit www.fruitsandveggiesmorematters.org.

6. Eat mindfully. Honor your senses of hunger and fullness. Many women live inside of a constant power struggle, ignoring their body’s hunger signals in an effort to lose weight, or eating beyond the point of satisfaction to cope with stress or other emotions. Mindful eating is about tuning in to your hunger signals, and eating until you are satisfied. It’s about eating slowly, at a table, focusing on the food and how it makes your body feel – while enjoying pleasant mealtime conversation. It means turning the TV off, putting the book down, stepping away from the computer and work area. Eating should be an enjoyable, engaging experience, but many of us eat in 5 minutes or less, eat way too much, feel bad about it, and then eat more to feel better – except we never do feel better. Break this downward spiral today – make your next meal a mindful one. 

(Look for Part 2 in a few days!).

Beth Shepard, M.S., is a wellness coach, clinical exercise physiologist, and health promotion consultant in the Seattle area. She helps busy women all over the U.S. achieve a better balance between work and life and adopt sustainable behavior changes for optimal well-being. www.wellcoaches.com/beth.shepard