I’m a big fan of anything that makes parenting easier (well, almost anything–it has to be within my integrity!). That’s why I’m so excited about Barbara Probst’s book, When The Labels Don’t Fit: A New Approach To Raising A Challenging Child.  Blessedly this is NOT  just another book on how to discipline your child. Instead, it outlines a postive, more energizing way of looking at your child’s temperament, and a refreshing one at that.
While the idea of temperament has been around for a long time, it hasn’t always been used …

Are you old enough to remember the “Just Say NO” campaign from the Reagan era?  Whether or not it was successful in reducing drug abuse is debatable. That said, I think it’s like the ”Just Do It” slogan from Nike in its assertiveness. It implies action. Now.
 In the spirit of helping you to take action that will make your job as a parent easier, I am going to point out three parenting behaviors that, if you stop doing them, you will get better results. So, here are my three enemies of successfully parenting parenting your difficult …

If you’re anything like me (and if you have a strong-willed child, I’m betting we have a few things in common!), this thought has crossed your mind at least once: “Is it my fault my child is so difficult to parent?” A simple request to your child can result in her melting down into a temper tantrum. Too much noise or stimulation can mean excess energy–I’m thinking of my own strong-willed daughter zooming around the house the other night, exclaiming with glee, “I just LOVE the holidays! They give me …

1. When your child is asleep, at school, or just not with you, think about one thing you love about him or her. Imagine it fully. For me, it’s my daughter’s sweet laughter. I can easily imagine her laughing at something, her head thrown back in a healthy expression of joy or humor. Doing this helps you reconnect with the positive aspects of your child.
2. Picture your child using his or her temperamental traits for good. Is she bossy? Picture her effectively leading a major corporation someday (Sound silly? So …

Ever wonder what you did to be “blessed” with a spirited, strong-willed child? Amidst your ponderings, did you ever think, “What would life be like if I didn’t have to deal with these discipline issues day to day?” I have. And I bet you have too, at least once. Almost every mom I’ve ever worked with has revealed in a guilty whisper, “I wish I didn’t feel this way–you know, like it’s not fair that I have to be the one with a strong-willed child. Do good moms feel this way?” …

It can be so overwhelming to be a mom. And not just any mom, but a mom of a strong-willed child, to boot.  Here’s what comes to mind. Setting limits. Enforcing them. Remaining consistent (remaining? How about starting?). Being aware of temperamental traits so you can set your child up for as much success as possible. Managing temper tantrums and power struggles (your own and your child’s!). That’s not a complete list, but it’s enough! How do you know you’re on the right track in your parenting when there’s so much …

  “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!” This was what my client said when I told her she needed to start making herself a priority, or she was going to have a melt-down not unlike her child’s. “But I’m coming to you because my life is crazy. You know how strong-willed children can be, with tantrum after tantrum. There’s no time for me at the end of the day. Self-care. As if.”
   Ahhhh. What the heck is “self-care,” anyway? A made-up term by coaches and therapists to guilt people (read …