Welcome to a series of blog posts that will be dealing with a topic that strikes fear into the hearts of mothers everywhere:  how you as a mom can set up the summer so that your sanity is intact, you actually enjoy your children, and you even make some good memories together. Is this possible, you ask? Absolutely. But it requires creativity, flexibility, and…..are you ready for the “secret ingredient?”
A willingness to rethink what summer means to you and your family.
In fact, let’s start with willingness, shall we? When you think of spending …

I’m a big fan of anything that makes parenting easier (well, almost anything–it has to be within my integrity!). That’s why I’m so excited about Barbara Probst’s book, When The Labels Don’t Fit: A New Approach To Raising A Challenging Child.  Blessedly this is NOT  just another book on how to discipline your child. Instead, it outlines a postive, more energizing way of looking at your child’s temperament, and a refreshing one at that.
While the idea of temperament has been around for a long time, it hasn’t always been used …

Many power struggles, temper tantrums, and other discipline issues could be avoided if parents knew one thing: how their child gets energy.   This has to do with your child’s inner world. While the idea of temperament is not new, there are new ways of looking at it that make parenting easier, more fun, and focus on kids’ strengths. Barbara Probst, author of When The Labels Don’t Fit: A New Approach To Raising A Challenging Child (Three Rivers Press), and I share the same strength-based philosophy. Here are her tips (for …

If you’re anything like me (and if you have a strong-willed child, I’m betting we have a few things in common!), this thought has crossed your mind at least once: “Is it my fault my child is so difficult to parent?” A simple request to your child can result in her melting down into a temper tantrum. Too much noise or stimulation can mean excess energy–I’m thinking of my own strong-willed daughter zooming around the house the other night, exclaiming with glee, “I just LOVE the holidays! They give me …

Want to strike fear or anger in the heart of a parent? Have them witness their child having a tantrum. To make things extra “spicy,” have the tantrum be in public.  Unfortunately, tantrums are something that ALL parents have to manage. Since the holidays often bring added stress, and added stress can also mean more tantrums (I was talking about your child’s…but I’ve been known to have them on occasion!), here are some tips to help you get through them with fewer gray hairs:
1. Prevent tantrums as much as possible.  Know your …

1. When your child is asleep, at school, or just not with you, think about one thing you love about him or her. Imagine it fully. For me, it’s my daughter’s sweet laughter. I can easily imagine her laughing at something, her head thrown back in a healthy expression of joy or humor. Doing this helps you reconnect with the positive aspects of your child.
2. Picture your child using his or her temperamental traits for good. Is she bossy? Picture her effectively leading a major corporation someday (Sound silly? So …

It can be so overwhelming to be a mom. And not just any mom, but a mom of a strong-willed child, to boot.  Here’s what comes to mind. Setting limits. Enforcing them. Remaining consistent (remaining? How about starting?). Being aware of temperamental traits so you can set your child up for as much success as possible. Managing temper tantrums and power struggles (your own and your child’s!). That’s not a complete list, but it’s enough! How do you know you’re on the right track in your parenting when there’s so much …

There is a secret to preventing tantrums and power struggles that is right under your nose. You see and hear evidence of it every day. Sometimes, the expression of it might cause you to want to scream. Know what it is yet?
Temperament. Every child comes into the world with a certain set of traits. Knowing your child’s natural, inborn style of behavior–how they come biologically “wired”–can help you know what limits to set and how to set them, before there is a problem. In the ’50s, researchers Stella and Chess followed people …