Hey, Moms—

Here’s a great e-mail that is circulating through the Momosphere. While I have no idea who originally wrote it, I do know that it definitely rings true for many of us. Any thoughts?

Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,  I don’t believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging 
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 
Candidates must possess excellent communication 
and organizational skills and be willing to work 
var iable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.  Some overnight travel required, including trips to  primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.  Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. 
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,  until someone needs $5.  Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.  Also, must possess the physical stamina of a  pack mule  and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat20
in case, this time, the screams from  the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.  Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,  such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets  and stuck zippers.Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and  coordinate production of multiple homework projects.  Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings  for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.  Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and be
an embarrassment the next.  Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a  half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.  Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.  Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and  janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.  Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,  so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!  Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because  of the assumption that college will help them  become financially independent.  When you die, you give them whatever is left. 
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,  no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and  no stock options are offered;  this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do…
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE**
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT — EVER!!!